Conference Weekend

Conference has been good so far, I think. I have made some pretty big advances since last conference. I remember in the past I always tried to write down everything more or less that each person said. That is a pretty big error. You must pay attention to the Spirit's impressions. You may be writing things that are almost not mentioned in a talk, but it's what you need to know in the coming days. Not only that, but the guidance and insights you get will be absolutely personal. This leads me to a theme I've though about a lot recently. I think I'd do better to give you an example.

Since I can remember, I've always needed to be different than others. It took various forms over the years. I didn't play sports or like watching them. I spent bizarre amounts of time reading and researching scientific and mathematic concepts. I really looked out from my high tower at people who simply went to school, played sports, had testimonies, and so forth, thinking I was, if not superior, at least distinctive.

If you talked with me at sixteen, my plan for life was really something. I would be going to an Ivy League school, far away from my family. The mission was distant and very, very low priority. But there was one nagging fact that indicated to me that my vision was not yet correct - it didn't make me happy. It satisfied me, surely. I planned a late marriage between two stable adults wherein money would never be a problem and my professional interests would be optimized. I was headed for an illustrious career as the top of my field with my family and religion as a footnote on the Grand Thesis of my life.

God's plan, as I saw it, would be to be mediocre. If I were to submit to His plan, (again - as I saw it) I would do virtually nothing but prepare to convince people to join the church on a mission, go to BYU like my dad, and his dad, meet a girl immediately after and marry her, graduate poor with two kids, and teach young men's for the rest of my life.

I hated that vision. "You can't tell ME what to do!", I thought. "I will be a success like there's never been before."

As time went on, though, as I understood more of God's power, with the help of some Seminary teachers and teachers in Church, the two visions started to come together.

If something makes you happy, it's for a a reason.

Every human being needs a quantity of love. Where he looks for it is up to him. You can fill up your need (and it is an absolutely irrevocable, unstoppable one) on junk love, love for entertainment or food or something like that. But just like the junk food which it resembles, it leaves you hungry in minutes. (How long does Trix keep you satisfied?)

Or you can put in the real kind.

As time continued by, I began to see that the reason my dad did things how he did, and how his dad did things before him, was that it made them happy! The real wholesome love they found in doing "the same things" as every other grandpa and dad have done filled their souls and didn't leave them wanting.

So I went to BYU. I served a mission. I took notes on conference and tried to listen to the Spirit, like the books say. Like the leaders say. I'm sitting here telling you this so that you'll do what I have done before you, if you haven't yet found this realization.

One time, I was thinking about the path my life was taking. I was thinking about how if I were to get married fast, the money would be very difficult. I thought about how that could be negative for the marriage. I though about the terrifying (to me, at least) prospect of kids and all that stuff that comes with it. I thought, "How can I do all this stuff? I want to be a doctor. I want to really raise my kids and not put them in day care. I want that all that stuff so much."

The reply came back, "Don't you think I know that?"

He does know that. His plan is going to get me what I want. So I'll do it.

Sorry, I'm in a conference mood this week. That's my talk.

Love,

Elder A Conrad Crist