Called Out!!!

I or rather we, have been called out! I love it! I think every missionary family should have a missionary who is not afraid to show us our weaknesses and a way to get better! I love this letter for so many reasons. It shows that Alex has turned himself over to the Lord and is making huge gains in his personal development. I also love that he admits he has weaknesses. I kind of think of him as a super kid, always obedient, never straying, keeping everything within the bounds of what the Leaders have said, but he is human and normal. He doesn't like every part of missionary work! I miss him like crazy but I absolutely know that he is where he needs to be because of the growth that is happening in him!

 I do have pictures, but they're pretty lame so I'll just wait until next week. You see, I somehow was relegated to the missionary couple's dinosaur windows NT fossil. It says at the top "Upgrade to a modern browser."

 Right.

 I suppose it does work, even though it makes wierd crunching noises when it loads and possibly needs vacuum tubes and punch cards.

 This week has been okay. We split our sector, which is good, but also bad. We can focus much more on individuals and work closer with local members. Only one issue - almost three quarters of the investigators and virtually all members live in Elder Spencer's and Elder Gimenez's sector. Elder Smart and I have a lot of work to do. We have two investigators. The rest is an inactive family that's coming back and just door knocks. Maipu, where we are, is one of the easiest places to find new investigators, but even so the part we have is essentially one-third drug territory. Let's just say I take my watch off sometimes.

 This last while has been a lot of self-figuring out. I love my job. I like doing it fast and well, especially for people who don't even know I do anything. It's uniquely satisfying to save people from getting their lights cut or something like that. Here's the strange part. I don't like that I like it. I have done my best to surrender to God's will in the mission.

The funny thing is that I haven't liked a lot of the mission. I don't know if that's extremely atypical or not; some people really like contacting, some people like motivating ward members, etc. I find that I like teaching. I like interacting con members. But I spend most of my time not doing those things. So you could say I spend a lot of time doing things I don't really personally want to do. Keep in mind that I make no complaint in that. But so it is. (See the attached discourse "4th Missionary" for more information on my logic there.)

 Now I have something to do all day that I enjoy very much. And I feel guilty. I almost feel that I'm not doing something right in the mission because that's been my experience so far. I thank God for it, though perhaps a little hesitantly. Am I missing out on some personal progress I should have had?

Am I not strong enough to keep in the normal mission? My companion, Elder Smart, feels bad when we are stuck in here all day. Most of the time he learns from the Packs (the missionary couple he's replacing) a few days a week for a few hours. I spend every day 10-6 busy. He ends up with a lot of time left over. He says he hates it - he should be just out doing something, even just contacting random people in the street all day. That desire is simply not found in me. You see, usually we have this reversed - someone doesn't like their current situation and wonders what they should do differently. Here I like my current situation and I wonder what I should be doing differently. What do you think?

 This song is a new favorite of mine. Something that's been occurring to me lately. 

There's only one way I know of motivating scripture study. You have to do it with a purpose that is important to you. Do you know why I've written this up until now? I didn't either until I wrote this last paragraph. I knew I needed to write this, and I just found out why from God: As my family, I'd like you to study for me. How can I know I'm doing the right thing? How can I be sure God accepts it? What does he expect from me as a missionary?

 I'm sorry, I need to go eat. Please actually do this. God has asked you to.

 Love,
Thanks in advance,
Elder A Conrad Crist